So while I share the Fug Girls' taste in fashion (and Diet Coke, and old-school Brenda Walsh, for that matter [I said, DON'T JUDGE]), I am not of the same level of knowledge as they are about Jennifer Love Hewitt. Or Lifetime movies, apparently.
Did you know that, a few weeks ago, Jennifer Love Hewitt was in a made-for-Lifetime movie called the Client List? Did you know it was NOT based on a John Grisham novel? It is actually a movie about a woman FORCED into prostitution--not because she's held captive by terrorists or anything, but because her husband has a bum knee.
I'll just sit here while you re-read the above sentence.
The Fug Girls knew this, and reviewed the movie. People of the internet, they told us there was a Dashboard Angel of Judgment. They used the term "kind touching" in lieu of prostituting. There are lessons learned:
This is the first lesson of the movie: Totally Let a Dude Look Down Your Shirt If You Think It Will Help.
And this is the second lesson of the movie: If You Say You're Trained In Shiatsu And Your Prospective Massage-Therapist Boss Looks At You Like, "Whoa, She's Into Dogs? Ooookay," Do Not Think Anything Of It; She Probably Just Misheard You And Is Totally Not A Secret Prostitute.
This is the third lesson of the movie: Kind Touching Is Totally Okay If Your Husband's Bum Knee Basically Forces You To Do It, Because Really, Then It's Sort Of His Fault.
OMG, the review of this movie--which, a-duh, was truly awful from the start--is freaking HILARIOUS. Seriously. Take 15 minutes and read this review. Because it is peppered with things like this:
Yes, this is 15 minutes of your life that you will never, ever get back; but my God will you laugh. Plus, think of the 2 hours that the Fug Girls had to spend actually watching this thing.