So this morning, as I do every Saturday, I was flipping through the Sunday fliers (odd that we get them on a Saturday, no?) over breakfast. I got to the coupons, and came across an ad for a drug called Provigil.
"Struggling to fight off the fog?" the ad asked me (right below a dopey picture of a guy who looks vaguely like Kevin from the Office, obviously half awake). I don't know why I continued to give it a second glance, but I'm glad I did as the ad has been an endless source of amusement for me all morning long.
Provigil is used--are you ready?--to fight EXCESSIVE SLEEPINESS. They even go so far as to make being tired sound like a medical condition, giving it the acronym ES. The fine print starts with this clever phrase: "Provigil is a prescription medicine used to improve wakefulness in adults who experience excessive sleepiness (ES)..."
Wait, what?? "Improve wakefulness?" "Excessive sleepiness??" This has to be a joke. This drug seems to me like a legal form of speed (some of the possible side effects--which get more and more ludicrous as each new drug comes out--include depression, anxiety, hallucinations and mania; all side effects of speed).
I'm not quite sure when being tired became such an issue that we need a prescription drug to wake us up. Having just had a baby, I completely get how much worse off you are the less sleep you get (thank goodness she's a good sleeper and has been sleeping through the night for quite some time now); however, the day I need a prescription drug to keep me awake... well, that's a pretty bad day. Besides, I thought that's what Red Bull was for.